Relationships generally start with a flurry of rainbows, happy memories, and romantic gestures. For the first few weeks, months, or even years of a relationship, it may feel as though you are walking on air when you are around each other. But make no mistaking, being in a committed and loving relationship can be tough at times. As time goes on, you begin to share your problems together. Soon, something that is a major stressor for one of you, will become a stressor for both of you. There will be times when your interests clash, and there will be moments where you feel as though your lives are pulling in separate directions.
If you are married, as these tensions build-up, it can lead to both of your looking for reasons for divorce rather than trying to cling onto a reason to stay together. Sadly, it is often easier to walk away from a relationship than it is to repair the damage.
Here are some tips on working through some difficult times in your relationship.
Identify The Problem But Do Not Assign Blame - Blame and guilt are complex emotions and they can tear two lovers apart. If you are worried about stresses and strains in your relationship, and you feel as though you are constantly butting heads, try and work out what has happened and where the problem lies. You need to address this in a way that does not assign blame or guilt on one of you as there are often very reasons for tensions in a relationship that should be worked through in a supportive way.
If you can both agree to the areas in which the problems are and are either happy to draw a line under it and solve the problem together, or both admit to any elements of responsibility freely, then you will be able to move on from this point.
Get Help - Communication can often go out of the window in a relationship. You may not notice it leaving, but once you have an inability to talk about the important matters such as your feelings, then you will hit a hurdle that neither of you can move past. This type of communication breakdown may be caused by the traumatic experience of repeated arguments, or it could be due to an inability for one or both of you to process emotions elsewhere in your lives.
By sitting down with a couple’s therapist, you will be able to learn to communicate with each other. Communication often starts with being able to listen to each other, and a therapist may teach you to hear and understand what your partner is actually saying without you interjecting and it becoming an argument.
Remembering Why You Fell In Love - One of the most important things to hold onto is the reasons that you fell in love with each other. You will have meant something very specific to each other, and talking through what you actually mean can remind you of what you need to hold on to and work through.
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